Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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