I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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