these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize