I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm going to jail i love you
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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