It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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