Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
This is classic penis vs brain.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Holy sore nipples Batman
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
