I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
