I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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