Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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