we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
