butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
