Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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