Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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