Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
