he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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