I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
no you cant smoke seaweed
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
