this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
