Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
