hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
