so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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