Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Hippo gnu deer
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
