I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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