Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
