If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
