If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
This house was built for laser tag.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
