i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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