We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
