I wish I only lived at night.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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