i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
