yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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