clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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