next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
