So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I am available for nakedness
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
