I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
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