Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
