she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
