woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
This toilet bowl is my home.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
