He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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