People in love make me want to vomit
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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