Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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