My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
