If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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