i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
