Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize