I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
