butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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