Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
