So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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