last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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