just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
