Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
